Working from my own recording studio, 99% of the voiceover work I do is self-directed. The script may contain a few directions regarding the style required, words or lines that need emphasising and any tricky pronunciations, but otherwise I’m left to my own devices to transform the script into a convincing message that will gently caress the ears of its target audience.
Occasionally, there will be a request for a directed session. This is where I record a script and the creative director or production person or client or writer or marketing intern (or if you’re really unlucky, all of the above, plus the Uber Eats delivery guy) listen in and offer feedback and guidance in order to make their vision a reality.
Today I had a directed session. I always go into these sessions bright-eyed, bushy-tailed and eager to collaborate in order to make the audio sparkle. I received the script beforehand. ‘Looks like a standard retail sale radio ad. Nothing out of the ordinary. Easy done.’ methinks.
Methinks wrong.
First, let’s all introduce each other, there’s Schooner, the creative director; Hailey, Bailey, Kayley and Tim from the marketing department, Tarquin the production person, Fitzroy the writer and Jason, who may be the client or he may be the Uber Eats delivery guy. I’m not sure.
I’m also not sure whose voice it is that answers my “Soooo, what do you have in mind?” but it’s the loudest, so that’s who I listen to. Let’s just assume the voice belongs to Jason the client / Uber guy.
“Okaaaaay, so you’re in Bora Bora…”
“I am?” I think. “Sheesh I was envisioning more the local Westfield, but ok”
“…. And you’re walking along the wooden jetty. And you’re wearing a Camilla kaftan. And you’re thinking ‘f*%k I’m fabulous’!”
“Right” I say and launch into the smooth, luxe, soft sell I think he’s after.
“That’s fabulous. We’re seeing crystal blue water. You’re sitting by the pool drinking a red wiiiiine”.
“Red wine!? By the pool?! In the sun!?” I shoosh my inner wine snob and go smoother, even more luxe, and a bit posher with my next take.
Next Hailey, Bailey or Kayley helpfully pipes up with the never helpful “So just imagine, you’re having a chat with your girlfriends….”
I love a chat with my girlfriends. We laugh, we cry, we squeal, we swear but we pretty much never say things like “Hurry! While stocks last! Conditions apply”.
But for Hailey, Bailey or Kayley’s benefit, I switch to a more conversational read.
“Yes! But more pushy” that’d be Schooner justifying his pay cheque.
I add the urgency a sale ad generally calls for.
“Great, but…” oh dear lord, no, Jason is back “…now I want you to use your Obama voice”.
“My what?!” I like to think I’m pretty versatile as a voice artist, and at a pinch I could try to sound like Michelle, but he’s talking Barack here.
Eventually we ascertain that he’d like my voice to sound a little deeper.
Swallowing a deep sigh, I mentally assemble my girlfriends around the deckchair of the kaftan-wearing, red wine-slurping former president of the U.S.A and as the crystal blue waters of Bora Bora lap gently nearby, I have a 15 second urgent ‘chat’ to them about this sale.
The final take is pretty much the read I would have done on my own, but everybody seems happy …. with both the audio and their invaluable input. I’m thanked by Schooner, Hailey, Bailey, Kayley, Tim, Fitzroy and Jason. Tarquin may also have thanked me. Or he may have died of old age during the session.
This is pretty funny! I love the names of the characters! Careful not to spill that red wine on your Camilla!